


Not Pretty Enough

by irish18



Series: Song based one shots [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Blindfolds, Bottom Niall, Dirty Talk, F/M, Insecure Niall, M/M, Porn With Plot, Sad, Smut, Top Zayn, businessman Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 03:12:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1672565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irish18/pseuds/irish18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the song Not Pretty Enough by Kasey Chambers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why do you see right through me?

Niall stood staring at himself through the slightly dirty mirror that was hanging on the wall in his flats bathroom. A little smudge of something Niall didn’t really want to know was blocking him from seeing his right cheek. You would think that he would wash away the smudge but Niall kept it there because in his mind that ugly smudge just covered up a little bit of something even more ugly, his face. 

He stared into his dull eyes that once held life and used to shimmer with light but now they were two dark swirling pits of lifeless blue. he reached up and raked his fingers through his tangly blonde hair and sighed to himself.

He knew that tonight would just be like all the other nights but still he would carry on trying so with that thought the blonde boy, eighteen years of age, reached into the little cabinet under the sink and retrieved his hair wax that was defiantly running on low.

He dipped his fingers into the hard clay like wax and rubbed his fingers together before running them through his hair sculpting it and moulding the blonde threads into a messy but effective quiff.

After washing his hands Niall grabbed his toothbrush and loaded it with his cheap tooth paste and brushed his crooked teeth furiously and didn’t stop until he could taste the coppery taste of blood seeping from his sensitive gums.

Niall went back to the cabinet and pulled out a little bottle of David Beckham’s new cologne that he had stolen from the chemist the other day. He really didn’t want to steal it but he thought that maybe if he smelt pretty then maybe someone might pick him. So with that in his mind he sprayed the cologne on both sides of his neck and on his wrists.

After finishing Niall went to his small bed room and searched through his clothes for something to wear that would hopefully make him look at least decent. He decided on simple black tight chino’s and a graphic tank top that would show off his pale arms.

After dressing Niall went over to his mirror that was situated up against the cream wall of his room and took in his appearance. He immediately picked out his flaws such as the dark roots seeping from his scalp and his way to pale skin and his bony legs, nothing about him would appease anyone.

Niall looked at his face and tilted his lips up in a little smile that had absolutely no happiness in it. A little tear fell from his lifeless eyes as he smiled to himself. Tonight would be exactly the same as every other night.

 

Since not even in Niall’s dreams could he afford a car or even a bus ticket, Niall walked along the foot path in the cold dark night keeping his whits about him. London’s crime wasn’t exactly un heard of in this part of town but there was no point in robbing the blonde for all he had was ten pounds in his back pocket that was left over from last week and no way would anyone in there right mind rape him, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to get an attacker hard anyway.

The red light flickered above the black door of the house Niall had become familiar with over the past two years and he did smile a genuine smile when he saw Liam Payne standing out side with his lips enclosed around a cigarette.

Liam smiled back at the blonde and opened his arms and Niall didn’t wait two seconds before running into them and wrapping his own skinny arms around Liam’s neck. This was the only place where Niall felt safe, in Liam’s warm and strong arms.

“Hey Nialler” Liam hummed “Wow you smell nice” Liam said and Niall blushed under the compliment, he wasn’t used to them at all so he relished in the warm feeling that was swirling in his tummy.

“Thanks” Niall said and pulled back reluctantly but continued to smile.

“How are you going?” the brunette asked and then took another puff of his cigarette.

“Well put it this way, if i don’t come up with two hundred pounds by Monday I’m pretty sure my landlord is going to kick me out of my sorry excuse for a flat” Niall replied and looked down at his dirty once white cheap shoes, like he’d ever make that kind of money over the weekend.

Liam put his hand on his bare shoulder which did bring Niall some comfort and he looked back up into Liam’s big brown puppy dog eyes “Niall, i told you i can loan you some money to pay you landlord off, all you need to do is ask buddy?”.

Niall shook his head, he wasn’t a charity case, never was and never will be. “Its fine Li, maybe tonight might be different? maybe a drunk out of his mind bloke will show up and fuck me?” Niall suggested and Liam frowned at him but eventually shook his head.

“Here, take the rest of this, we open soon and i’ve got to get the rest of the lads ready. Its Saturday night after all our biggest night” Liam said and gave his half smoked cigarette to Niall who gladly accepted it and smoked it away while looking out onto the night, maybe tonight will be different.

 

Once Niall walked inside he went straight for the living room where he found Harry and Eleanor sitting on one of the velvet couches “Niall!” Harry beamed and grinned lazily at him before waving to come over and sit down next to him.

Niall looked over Harrys flawless body. His almost perfect thighs were wrapped up in super tight black jeans that almost looked like thick leggings and his slender torso was covered by a loose black shirt with the little sleeves rolled up and his chocolatey brown curls were messed perfectly on top his head, the lad was everything Niall would never be, beautiful.

He sighed before sitting down next to Harry and admired his pink plump lips trying not to think about his own slightly chapped ones “How’re you doing Ni?” Harry slowly slurred out and grinned at him with a dazzy look in his eyes.

Niall didn’t even have to guess because he knew Harry was either drunk or drugged and since he couldn’t smell Harry’s favourite beer on his breath he’s going for the latter one. It was no secret that Harry had a tendency to get high before any of the ‘clients’ came through the black door. He said it help with the tender pain after having too many in one night, a pain Niall wouldn’t know.

“Im good Harry, but you look like you’re ready for bed” Niall said and Harry chuckled before leaning his head down on Nialls bony shoulder and sighed.

“Bed sounds good” he mumbled and Eleanor laughed from beside him.

“Here babe, have some of my red bull, it’ll keep you awake. Lou’s already had three” the brunette girl said and handed Harry the energy drink.

As if he was waiting for someone to say his name Louis pranced into the room with a giant smile on his face. He was wearing his signature navy blue braces that slung uselessly from his hips and his black skinny jeans along with a soft looking blue and white stripped shirt, that lad was gorgeous in every sense of the word. 

Out of all of Liam’s prostitutes Louis was the most favoured and no wonder with his thick thighs, tanned un blemished skin, ocean blue bright eyes that sometimes twinkled, perfectly mussed up sun kissed auburn hair and don’t forget about his pride and glory, his bum. 

“What are you lazy lot doing just dozing around? its Saturday! get into it” Louis beamed, Niall thought he was the only one here who actually liked his job. Apart from Liam of course. 

Harry mumbled something and took a sip from his red bull and Louis glared playfully at him “Come on Harold up you get” the feisty lad said before pulling on Harrys arms to try to get him up but he was getting no where so he just at down in Harrys lap as if he belonged there and grabbed Harrys long arms to wrap them around himself.

“Lou, your fat arse is squashing me” Harry complained half heartily but Niall heard Louis gasp and put his hand over his heart feigning hurt.

“How could you insult the bum Harold! i’ll have you know that this bum gets most of the blokes who come here, that means i get most of the money so sucked in” Louis said and Niall looking down into his lap and tried not to think about that fact that he’d probably get two clients in a month, and that was on a good month. 

 

Liam walked over with Jade following. Tonight the small girls midnight blue hair was cascading down her back in loose curls. Her make up was dark around her eyes and her lip stick was a ground base colour. She was wearing a little deep purple crop top that showed more cleavage then needed and little black short shorts.

“Ok ladies and gents, we’ve got a few blokes at the door already Louis could you please stop trying to bite Harrys ear, thank you anyway these four blokes three are looking for a lad and the other wants a bird so you know what to do people” Liam said and went over to towards the door.

Louis hopped up from Harrys lap and stood over towards the other couch opposite the one we had been sitting on and Harry quickly went over to join him. Eleanor lidded her eye lids suductivly and walked over to the wall where she leaned up against it.

Niall on the other hand just stood up and tried his best to look sexy, even though he knew the words sexy and Niall Horan did not go together, at all.

Jade walked in and went over to Eleanor and placed her hand on Eleanors exposed thigh while smirking up at her. The four blokes walked in each wearing a business suit but of different colours which told him that they came from different work places.

Niall looked from the first bloke who had long sandy blonde hair, blue eyes and scattered stubble over his chin. he was wearing a plain black suit and white shirt. His blue eyes snapped towards Eleanor and Jade who were not discreetly feeling each other up.

“Hey man, could i take both the girls by any chance?” the blonde said and Liam grinned at the girls, knowing that they were doing it on purpose so Liam could sell them both for the night.

“Sure mate, but they both cost separately” Liam said and the blonde bloke pulled out his wallet and handed Liam a wad of pounds before grabbing both Eleanor’s and Jade’s hands.

“How about we go somewhere more private ladies?” he suggested with a dirty smirk that made Niall want to gag.

The two girls both pulled the bloke up stairs and Niall looked over at the other three blokes who were around Harry and Louis. Niall looked to the ground but tried to stay hopeful. 

“Ok so Dan can have Louis, and Mitch can have Harry” Liam said and Niall looked up to see the bloke with the dark green suit and the one with the dark maroon suit smirk.

“But i wanted Louis” the last lad who was wearing a dark blue suit said. Niall’s eyes widened at the lad who was still gazing at Louis who was under the dark greens suits arm. His strong looking jaw bones were scattered lightly with dark stumble. His eyes were almost the colour of honey framed with long eye lashes that should be illegal. His cheek bones were high and his lips were plump and Niall wondered what they would feel like pressed up against his.

“Well, we still have one last lad, Niall” Liam said and gestured his arm towards the blonde. Zayn looked over at him and Niall really needed to sit down because this lad was far to fit to be looking at him.

“Um, do you think maybe i could just wait for Louis to be finished?” Zayn asked and Niall felt a sharp pain hit his heart and he felt his eyes burn. Zayn didn’t want him, not that it surprised Niall because nobody wanted him but that fact that Zayn wanted to wait for Louis instead of having him as at least a consolation prize really hurt him.

“Sorry mate, i’ve paid for all night” Dan said and Louis face lit up while Nialls face was fighting from breaking into tears.

“Fine then” Zayn sighed clearly annoyed “I suppose i’ll take him, but i refuse to pay the same price as what Louis’ worth” Zayn said and a tear did fall at that but Niall made quick work of getting rid of it.

“Ok, how about three hundred?” Liam suggested.

Niall heard Zayn scoff “Mate, he’s not worth that much, how about one fifty?” Nialls body started to shake, he was trying his best to hold in the sobs and cries that desperately wanted to escape him.

“Two hundred, final offer” Liam said knowing that Niall’s rent was that amount.

“Fine, whatever” Zayn said and pulled out his wallet “Come on blondie” Zayn said and Niall quickly walked up to the god like creature “Where do we go?” Zayn asked and Niall looked up at him with slightly watery eyes.

‘Um, upstairs. I’ve got a-a room up s-stairs” He mumbled and began to walk up the wooden stairs with Zayn hot on his tail.

 

Niall walked into his room which was barely ever used. The only customers Niall ever got was Barry who was an old pervert. The first time Barry had come here Liam had told him to go away but Niall begged Liam to let him stay because out of everyone Barry was the only one who ever picked him, that and Niall really needs the money.

Sometimes Niall would get other customers but that would only be once in a blue moon and when he thought about it he thinks Liam only keeps him around so he at least has a little bit of money, Liam doesn’t even take any of the money that Niall makes, he gives the whole amount to the blonde knowing that he only makes around two fifty a fortnight.

"Would you like m-me to turn the l-lights off?” Niall asked politely as he closed the door and turned around to see Zayn sitting on the made double bed.

Zayn frowned at him “Why would i want the lights off?” he asked and this time Niall frowned with confusion.

“So you don’t have to see me of course?” he said, his other rare clients who weren’t Barry had always requested that the lights were to be turned off so they couldn’t see him, he knew he was nothing to look at so it didn’t matter.

“Oh, um how about we just turn the lights off but turn this lamp on then? if that makes you feel more comfortable” Zayn suggested, Niall thought that maybe Zayn would like a little bit of light so he could see what he was doing so the blonde agreed and switched the lights off and turned the lamp on the bedside table on.

Niall quickly stripped from his clothes leaving his black boxer briefs on and sat next to Zayn “How would you like to do this?” he asked and Zayn gulped.

“Um i don’t know, maybe lets just kiss and see where it goes yeah?” the raven suggested and Niall’s heart beat quickened. Out of all the two years he had been here not one of his clients had asked him to kiss him, they usually asked him to bend over so they could just fuck him in the dark.

“O-ok” Niall stuttered out and Zayn pulled the blonde boy onto his lap. Niall smiled a little when he felt Zayns arms wrap around his waist and then there were a soft pair of lips pressed against his.

Zayn moved his lips and Niall kissed him back and in no time Niall felt Zayns tounge probe his bottom lip asking for entrance. Niall happily opened up and Zayn’s tounge darted into his hot wet cavern mapping out all his little soft spots that made Niall moan into the kiss.

Niall felt his dick start to thicken and he began to rut himself against Zayns lower stomach “Think we should get you out of these clothes yeah?” He suggested to the raven who made a noise of agreement.

Zayn attached his lips back to Nialls while the blonde unbuttoned his white shirt and pushed it along with his dark blue blazer off of the raven and Nialls hands pressed up against his chest feeling Zayns tight muscles under his light mocha skin. He trailed his hands down past the lads impressive abs and to his belt and with skill Niall unbuckled it and pulled the zip of his slacks down and reached in past Zayns boxers to feel his still soft cock.

“Sorry” Zayn mumbled and pulled back from the kiss and sighed “I think I’m just nervous, thats all” he added and gestured to his soft cock.

Niall looked down knowing that it wasn’t Zayns nerves, it was him. No matter how much he tried to look pretty he would never be able to make a lad turned on.

“H-how about this” Niall started and got off of the bed, the minute Nialls back faced Zayn two little tears fell from his eyes but he reached up and got rid of them and walked over towards the wooden desk and picked up a black silk blindfold, he knew this would happen from time to time so he always kept a blindfold ready for use.

He walked over with the blind fold in hand to see Zayn had stripped from his slacks but still had his boxers on “Im going to put this blindfold on you ok?” Niall said and reached around Zayns head and secured the blindfold around his scalp.

“How is this going to help with my nerves?” Zayn asked and Niall shook his head knowing Zayn couldn’t see him, and he told himself again in his head, ‘its not nerves, its because I’m ugly’.

“Just relax and think about Louis” Niall said and closed his eyes as a few more tears fell from them.

“Ok” Zayn said and Niall stared down at Zayns boxer’s to see that his cock was starting to fill up ’See, its because I’m not pretty enough’.

“There we go” Niall said and reached out to give Zayn’s cock a few tugs before pulling it out of its confides. Niall stared at the hot and heavy length in his hand with hunger. It was dark like his skin but the tip was a bright pink and he had to be at least eight inches long and was perfectly thick.

“Can i take the blindfold of now?” Zayn asked and Niall shook his head but then realised Zayn couldn’t see him.

“No, keep it on. Just keep thinking about Louis ok? just forget about me and think about Louis” Niall said and Zayn nodded his head.

Niall pushed Zayn down lightly so he was laying down on the bed and he got in-between Zayns legs so his face was right up next to the ravens length and without a second thought and grabbed the lads cock and lower his parted lips around it and sucked on the tip.

“Shit” Zayn gasped and then moaned and Niall forced him down his throat an inch at a time. Like all the others Nialls gag reflex was long gone so he had no problem in taking the lads cock all the way down his throat and then began to deep throat him.

‘Fuck fuck fuck” Zayn moaned and Niall felt Zayn grip the blonde hair at the back of his head to pull and push Niall down on his cock while Niall breathed out of his nose.

Niall continued to let Zayn force his cock down him until he really needed a deep breath so he pulled off and gasped in air greedily and looked up to see Zayn had pulled the blindfold off and was staring at him with a look Niall couldn’t recognise.

“You took it off” he said dumbly.

“Eh, yeah i wanted to see um well yeah, you” Zayn said and blushed but his blush didn’t compare to Nialls. Never has anyone said that to him, Zayn wanted to see him?.

“So, reckon you could guide me through this whole thing now. Do i just shoved my cock in you or do i have to do something else?” Zayn asked a little shyly.

“Well, most people don’t really care if they put me through pain or anything but you could stretch me out with your fingers first if you want too?” Niall said and reached over to the bed side table where a bottle of lube was and gave it to Zayn.

“Ok, yeah sure i don’t want you to be uncomfortable or anything. So how do i do this exactly?” Zayn asked and Niall frowned at him.

“Haven’t you had sex with a boy before?” he asked.

“No, thats why i couldn’t get hard earlier because I’m so bloody nervous” Zayn said.

“But, i thought you couldn’t get hard because of me?” Niall said still frowning in confusion.

“What do you mean by that?” Zayn said and came closer to Niall and looked over his face studying the blonde. Niall felt out of his element, what was with Zayn? didn’t he have twenty by twenty vision? can’t he see how disgusting and ugly Niall was?.

“Because I’m not pretty” Niall said matter of factly. Niall saw Zayns lips open obviously he was about to agree with Niall’s clear ugliness so Niall pressed his finger to the other lads lips “Shh, it doesn’t matter Zayn, i’ll just turn around so you can’t see me and just fuck me yeah? don’t worry about stretching just get it over with. Im sure next time you come here Louis will be available or maybe even Harry” Niall said and turned around.

He got on his hands and knees “Do i use a condom?” Zayn asked.

“You can if you want to, they’re in the drawer. But just so you know I’m clean” Niall said and in the corner of his eye he saw Zayn reach over and grab one of the many condoms that were sitting in the drawer.

 

Niall felt the tip of Zayn’s cock probe around his hole before slowly pushing in. It had been at least two weeks since Nialls last client so the pain was almost unbearable so he leaned his head down and chewed his thumb knuckle in between his teeth.

“Holy fuck Niall, so god damn tight!” Zayn exclaimed and pushed all the way in, Niall was trying his best not to cry “I-i’ve never felt s-something so tight around m-my cock before” Zayn said with amassment and lust clouded in his tone of voice.

“You can move Zayn” Niall said after the initial pain had lightly subsided and he felt Zayn grip his hips tightly before pulling out until the tip was just in and pushing back.

“Shit” Zayn moaned and continued his slow thrusts “God Niall” he moaned and moved a bit before pushing back in and with the new angle Zayn’s cock pushed against Niall prostate, and the smaller boy let out a loud moan.

“Fuck Zayn fucking hell please, please again Zayn please” Niall begged and gripped the satin sheets in between his fingers.

“Yeah, you like that huh Niall? does my cock feel good in you?” Zayn asked and Niall’s eyes widened at Zayns voice.

“Please Zayn, it feels so fucking good god!. so big fills up my tight hole so good. need more Zayn please can i have more?” Niall had no idea where his words were coming from but he hadn’t felt a pleasure like this in a long time.

“Ok baby, i’ll fuck you then” Zayn said and pulled his hips back only to push them back in a little more lower making his cock push harder against Niall prostate.

“Oh god oh god Zayn fuck so good, more. Fuck Zayn” Niall moaned as Zayn speed up his thrusts.

“Harder! please harder Zayn, wanna feel it for days” Niall moaned and Zayn almost came right then at the blondes words, his nerves were gone completely.

“Yeah babe, tomorrow you won’t be able to sit down without your pretty bum hurting and you’ll remember how good you got fucedk. By me, only by me just my cock baby” Zayn grunted out and tried his best to fuck the blonde boy harder.

Niall’s body was now coated in a thin line of sweat and he was pushing his own hips backing trying to get Zayn to fuck him even harder. He could feel his tummy start to burn and tightened and he knew he was close and from the sounds that Zayn was making he was obviously close to.

“Want me to cum in you Niall or do you want it over you hole or maybe on you face, bet you’d look so pretty with my cum on you face” Zayn said and Niall’s little reality smashed like shattered glass.

His tummy grew back and something cold hit his heart. He wasn’t pretty, he wasn’t gorgeous or beautiful or hot or anything. Without his permission memories came back to his mind from his other clients like Bob who had specifically told Niall ‘Look if you want to get paid you’ll do as i ask and turn all the lights off, I’m trying to have a great time here and I’m not going to be able to do that while looking at you’ or that one lad called Travis who had closed his eyes the whole time while chanting Harry’s name out loud heck even Zayn tonight couldn’t get hard while looking at his pathetic body and disgusting face. Niall knew Zayn was lying when he said he was just nervous Zayn probably didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying what he really wanted to say. But it didn’t matter because Niall’s feelings had shattered years ago.

Niall was brought out of his thoughts by the feeling of being empty. He looked around to see Zayn pulling the condom off and tiring it up and flinging it at the rubbish tin over near the door.

Zayn looked blessed out as he laid down on the bed and then looked up at Niall before frowning “Hey? didn’t you cum?” he asked noticing Nialls still hard cock that was slowly going down.

“No” Niall said.

“How come?” Zayn asked but Niall didn’t reply instead he just looked at Zayn with dull eyes.

“I hope next time you get Louis, Zayn” the blonde said before getting up, grabbing his clothes and leaving Zayn who looked absolutely gobsmacked and shocked.

 

Niall shamefully waddled out of the bathroom after getting dressed and winced at the pain that was throbbing around his rim. He slowly got to where Liam was sitting on the velvet couch and the brunette sent him an amused look.

“Well either that Zayn bloke is well endowed or he knows how to use his cock, which is it little Nialler?” Liam asked and Niall glared at him.

“Both, can i bum a cigarette off you?” he asked and Liam grabbed one out of his pack plus the his lighter for the blonde.

“Maybe you should put some ice on your hole or something?” Liam suggested trying to hold back his laughter.

“Very funny Liam, do you have my money?” Niall asked and Liam handed over the two hundred pounds “Thanks” he asked and smiled.

“All good Niall. Im sorry i couldn’t get him to pay full price” Liam said and Niall shook his head.

“Its fine Liam, I’m surprised he even paid at all” Niall said because he knew if he was in Zayns boots he wouldn’t pay to fuck someone as ugly and worthless as himself.

 

Niall walked out back and lit up the cigarette Liam had given him and drew in a deep breath of the toxic fumes before exhaling it out.

“Still can’t believe how flexible Harry was man” Nialls ears perked up at the mention of his friends name and Niall moved over to the side of the ally to see Mitch and Zayn smoking as well.

“Shut it Mitch” Zayn said and sighed, Niall got a bit closer so he could hear them more clearly.

“Im sorry for you man, i mean you got that blonde kid, seriously the lad looked like he was from a horror film he was so white you’d think he hadn’t seen the sun before” Mitch said and laughed while Nialls cheeks went red and water gathered around his eyes.

“I think it’s ‘cause his Irish” Zayn said and flicked the ambers of his cigarette.

“Still, he’s ugly as all fuck, did you kiss him? what was it like kissing those crooked up teeth?” Mitch asked and Nialls free hand went up and he felt the ridges of his front teeth which were crooked.

“Different” Zayn said and took a drag of his smoke, he wasn’t even defending Niall. Tears were falling freely from his eyes and he was about to walk away but a question caught his attention.

“Come on Zee, tell me while you were fucking him who were you imagining Harry or Louis?” Mitch asked.

“Louis” Zayn said and Niall heart hit rock bottom and he quickly dropped the smoke and ran away. What he didn’t hear was what Zayn had said next “But thats only because he told me too but in the end i couldn’t stop looking at him. I know i wanted Louis first but Niall’s something else, the lad doesn’t think he’s attractive but honestly. I think he’s really fucking gorgeous”. 

 

Niall finally got to his sorry excuse for a flat after hearing Zayn’s confessions. The first thing the blonde did was run up to his still smudgy mirror and glared at himself.

“Your ugly” he said while looking into his own eyes “And pathetic” he added.

After undressing Niall turned on his shower (waiting serval minutes for the hot water to actually heat up) and began to use his cheap soap to clean down his body. He raked his fingers through his hair as he put his head under the water. Zayn hadn’t left his mind that whole time he’d been walking home, there just was something different about the lad, the way he talked the way he look and the little glint in his eyes. 

He closed his eyes trying to block the raven out of his mind and kept repeating to himself over and over ‘he was thinking about Louis’ ‘you wanted him to think about Louis’ ‘Your so ugly that you couldn’t even get him aroused’.

Niall got out of his shower and quickly dried himself and walked into his room before landing on the used and worn mattress he called his bed. The blonde then pulled the thin duvet over his body and started to shiver from the cold. Only then safe inside his flat where no one could see him did Niall let his walls down long enough for him to cry himself to sleep.


	2. I'm with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a damn cold night  
> Trying to figure out this life  
> Won’t you take me by the hand?   
> Take me somewhere new  
> I don’t know who you are  
> But I’m with you

Niall had this little tradition he likes to do around this date. It might seem like his life sucks but he likes to try and forget about his horrible life this day every year.

His birthday.

Last night he had asked Liam, Louis, Harry, Jade and Eleanor if they would join him but as usual they were busy. Niall had of course understood all of their excuses and had said ‘Its only a dinner at Nandos, it doesn’t matter’.

He was once again starring at his pale face in that dirty mirror while brushing his teeth, he couldn’t help but to pick out his flaws. Today was his twenty third birthday and he had spent it doing what he usually did.

He had walked around town looking into different shop windows pretending that he could afford the items on display. He had paid for a small ordinary coffee since he couldn’t afford anything else but he treated the bitter taste as a gift to himself. 

In the late afternoon he had gone to his favourite park and watch all of the couples walk by him hand in hand laughing at each other and being completely in love while he had his own hands clasps together and had pretended that he was also holding someones hand.

Once his crooked teeth were washed, Niall went back to his bedroom and search through the stack of clothes for something to wear tonight. He settled on a pair of loose blue jeans he brought for half price at a second hand store and a soft black shirt that he had borrowed from Louis a few months back.

Once his ratty trainers were tied began his walk to the restaurant.

 

For the past six weeks Niall had been saving up every little piece of money he could get his hands on. Barry hadn’t been as regular as usual so it had been a tough couple of weeks but he had managed to save a couple of pounds so he could eat at his favourite restaurant.

It was a Tuesday night so the restaurant wasn’t too busy and Niall was slightly relived, he didn’t like big crowds. The smell of exotic spices hit his nostrils when he opened the glass door to the restaurant.

Without looking up the small blonde lad walked over to an empty two seater table and he quietly sat down and picked up his menu. Even though he only came here once a year he already knew what he wanted, perri perri chicken and chips.

he looked up when a pretty bird with long dark brown hair and bright green eyes approached his table “Good evening sir, may i take your order?” she asked politely but Niall could see the way she tossed her nose in the air as if she was better then him, she was.

“Hi, could i please order the perri perri chicken and a side of chips please?” he asked and smiled when she wrote the order down.

“Shouldn’t be too long” she said before walking away. Niall watch as the girl went over to a lad behind the cash register and whispered in his ear. The lads brown eyes looked up at Niall and then he laughed at what ever the girl said, Niall blushed and looked down at his table. They were clearly making fun of him.

 

He spent his waiting time looking around at all of the current costumers sitting in their seats with either their friends of lovers, Niall quickly casted his eyes towards the empty chair sitting opposite him and bit his lip, he wouldn’t cry in public.

The front door’s bell chimed just as the waitress from before dropped his food off. He’s not to sure why but he looked over at the arriving costumers and his tummy knotted when he saw him.

It had been three months since Niall had seen Zayn, seen his bright amber eyes, his perfectly dark skin, his midnight black hair, his red pulp lips and his heartbreaking eyelashes.

Behind him was a girl with dyed platinum blond hair, bright blue eyes rimmed with dark eye liner. Her frame was small in comparison to Zayns but Niall would guess that she would be taller then him, she was flawless.

Zayn and the girl sat down at one of the two seater tables near the window and pulled out their menus while talking.

Niall ducked his head down and hastily ate up his beautiful tasting chicken and chips while trying his best to ignore the two, he sniffed and his eyes got a bit watery when he heard Zayns beautiful laugh.

Niall peeked up and saw Zayn grinning at the girl while bitting his bottom lip trying to contain his chuckles at something she had said.

His dull blue eyes quickly snapped back to the empty chair in front of him, he would never have something like that. 

 

When his waitress came back over to collect his now empty plates, he had asked her if she could bring him one of their cupcakes in the refrigerator and if it wasn’t to much trouble a birthday candle as well, she had rolled her eyes but done as he asked.

Niall watch the bright blue birthday candle burn in front of him stuck in the yummy looking cherry cup cake. He closed his eyes before making a wish ‘I wish i was never born’ before blowing out the flame and opening his eyes to see that he was still here, still alive.

“Happy birthday Niall” he whispered to himself before removing the candle and taking a little nibble of the tasty cup cake.

“Hey Niall” the blondes breath hitched when he looked up to see Zayn standing next to him.

“Oh, um hey Zayn” he said quietly and smiled when Zayn smiled.

“How have you been?” Zayn asked as if he cared, Niall knew better.

“Fine, been really good actually” Niall lied and put on a fake smile to boot.

“Thats great, so what brings you here this evening?” the raven asked and motioned to the cupcake and birthday candle.

“Its my birthday” Niall replied lowly.

“Oh, where are you friends? haven’t they made it yet?” Zayn asked.

“If you mean the others they couldn’t make it, though every year they never seem to make it” Niall said and he saw something explode in Zayns eyes.

Zayn opened his mouth to reply but the blonde girl shouted his name “Oh coming Perrie, it was good to see you again oh and happy birthday Niall” he blush when Zayn ruffled up his hair and watch longingly as Zayn walked back over towards the girl, Perrie.

 

After he had paid, Niall found himself walking the cold dark streets alone. The street lights would flicker and the sound of the night was sending little goosebumps up his skin.

The small blonde’s thoughts went to his parents, Maura and Bobby. He wondered wether or not they had remembered that today was his birthday, or maybe they’ve forgotten about him completely. After he was kicked out of the small house he once called home his older brother Greg would send him birthday cards and christmas card, but that hasn’t happened for years now, maybe he forgot about him too.

While cupping his left cheek, Niall can still remember the pain of the harsh slap his father had given him the day he came out to his parents. He thought they’d understand but it was the complete opposite. They never wanted to see him again so Niall had used what little money he and his brother could round up and he got himself to England thinking that he would have an amazing life here, he was wrong.

At first it seemed like it was only a couple of drops of water but eventually the rain started to pour. Niall wrapped his arms around his little waist to try and keep himself warm.

 

He always seemed to make it to this place every night of his birthday. There wasn’t anything special about it, after all it was just a bridge, but Niall had always been fantasised by it. One jump and his pain would end.

He walks to the edge and take a little peek over to see the rushing water that could be his grave, just one tiny jump and he'd be free.

“Im standing on a bridge, I’m waiting in the dark, i thought you’d be here by now” he sings to himself, the blonde climbs up and over the safety fence and looks out into the dark nothingness “There’s nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground, I’m listening but there’s no sound” a few tears fall from his blue eyes and his voice gets choked up “Isn’t anyone trying to find me?” he lets his left hand go of the safety fence “Won’t somebody come take me home”.

He’s about to let go of the safety fence when a voice booms behind him “Don’t!” Niall jumps a bit and turns his head to see Zayn standing in the rain behind him, even in the dark Niall can see how big his beautiful amber eyes are, they almost glow.

“Please Niall don’t do it” Zayn pleads as he approaches the fence slowly.

“But i want to” Niall says back in a dead tone of voice, he swears he can see Zayn flinch at his words.

“Just please come back on the other side of the fencing please Niall, just do that for me ok?” Zayn asked desperately.

“Whats the point though, i’ve had enough of living Zayn. I don’t want to feel the pain anymore, i want to leave this cruel world and fly with the angels” Niall says with a dreamy look on his face.

“No!” Zyan shouts “Just come back over the fence Niall” by now Zayn is standing just behind him, even in the cold Niall can feel the warmth radiating from the ravens body. 

“You could come back home with me Niall, i know life had been so cruel and unfair to you but i can make you happy Niall, or at least i can try my best” Zayn says softly into his ear.

“What about the pretty blonde girl?” Niall asked.

“Who Perrie? she’s just a friend Niall. I could be the one who can make you feel loved baby, just please for gods sake don’t do this” Zayn said.

Niall sighed before mumbling “Ok” he turn around and was about to climb over the fence but because it was raining and the fence was slippery he lost his footing and fell.

“NO!” Zayn yelled and quickly grabbed onto Nialls hand. The blonde was hanging onto Zayns hand while crying and looking down to see his feet dangly over thin air.

“Don’t let go Niall ok just stay calm” Zayn instructed, Niall couldn’t move his eyes form the sigh below him, nothing but air and further down freezing cold water ready to take him out of this life.

“Im going to pull you up, just hang on” Zayn said and Niall found himself being pulled up and over the fence.

Once his feet were on solid ground Zayns arms wrapped tightly around his little body and a hand found its way into his blonde hair.

“Fuck” Zayn wobbly whispered into his neck. Niall wrapped his own arms around the shaking raven “Please don’t do that again” he heard Zayn say into his pale skin.

“M’sorry” Niall whispered back.

“Scared me so much” Zayn said before pulling back slightly only to press his lips to Nialls. The blonde gasped into the kiss being completely surprised to feel Zayns soft lips upon his own.

The two held each other close as their lips moved in perfect sync. Niall felt the warmth from Zayns body wrap around himself like a blanket.

“Lets go back to mine and we can get you into some warm clothes, yeah?” Zayn asked once he pulled back from the kiss.

“O-ok” Niall stuttered and Zyan sent him a smile that was filled with fondness and adoration.

“You do know that now i’ve got you, I’m never letting you go again yeah?” Zayn asked and for once Niall smiled for real.

“Yeah”. 

 

It took awhile, but after years of Zayn’s love Niall finally released that he was important, he was wanted, he was worth life and most of all he was loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to begin with i wasn't going to make a part two of this story but after seeing everyones comments asking for a happy ending i decided to write it. I hope you enjoyed it :D - Brayden x


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